Still Awake

I fell asleep after a long day at 6:15 PM. I woke up at about 8 PM different. This is so annoying. :-(







Sing.
Migrate.


™Zombiehaven 2008. All ideas and photos are copyrighted under Zombiehaven. Anything used from this site, must have written permission.

Finals!

It has been a while since I have written anything. It is the end of the semester which is always the worst part of the school semester for me. It feels to me the same as when you are driving home and have to use the bathroom, so bad, but the closer you get to the toilet, the worse the feeling becomes. I usually start out every semester very strong, then peter out somewhere in the last month. 1 more week till break, however in that week, I have 3 finals, so I will not be writing anything for a week or so. Anyway, keep me in your prayers, I have this thing going on and the doctors aren't quite sure what the deal is yet. Thanks, The ZomB







Sing.
Migrate.


™Zombiehaven 2008. All ideas and photos are copyrighted under Zombiehaven. Anything used from this site, must have written permission.

Foggy Glass

Does anyone else have the subconscious feeling that there is more going on inside your mind than most others? What causes this? The intricacies of our memories and feelings, or simple arrogance. Some people just seem like meat and potatoes is all they really are, and I envy that sometimes. Some people seem so superficial, like what you see is exactly what you get. It isn't true, but their behavior tells the world that.

We are complex beings, so why do we act so stupid? I do things that make myself raise an eyebrow, and wonder what in the world am I even saying, while I am saying it. Foolish. I often read Proverbs and look at all that is said of a fool, and sadly, so much reveals me. I am a fool, I think. If I weren't a fool, I could tell you for sure, yet I would not even think of doing some of the things I see every day around me. It is discouraging because people have been drinking the Kool-Aid for so long. I guess that is why we need God to transform us with the renewing on our minds, because we are broken. Completely broken. Not one person reading this isn't. Admit it right now. Say it out loud. We are a broken people. We need to know that to realize that God has us. We need God because we suck.

When we do it our way, we fail. No matter how noble our attempt, because we need a Savior, that has been given to us. That's why Jesus told His people to follow Him, because He is truth. I'm sick of the lies, aren't you? When we realize that all we really have for sure is God, then we realize freedom, the "Life to the fullest" we have yearned for our entire lives.

I really don't like being human. I can't wait to be perfected.







Sing.
Migrate.


™Zombiehaven 2008. All ideas and photos are copyrighted under Zombiehaven. Anything used from this site, must have written permission.

Living Without

What can you live without?

I am trying to re-evaluate the things I can and cannot live without, not necessarily to get rid of all of the things I can live without, but to put them in their place. I think that when we get comfortable with our lives and situations, we often become jaded over what is true reality. For example, if I were to complain about the loneliness and quiet of working alone at home all day, I would then be forgetting how much harder it is to get up, get ready with real clothes, not sweatpants, get in the car and commute in the morning with a million other people. Have to deal with people who are evil in the work place and then jump back in the car and drive an hour home to do it all again the next day bright and early. So I can't complain, because sitting outside to my right every morning as I drink a coffee and work are birds that chirp and the sun shines through my window and there is real freedom. So it is a reminder not to complain about my situation, because, really, I love it.

It is important to put things in their place because soon enough, they creep up in importance when they mean nothing at all, and they run your life.

Master the things in your life, or you will end up being their slave.

Examples:
Ever panic and consider turning around and going back home to get your forgotten phone?
I do not like existing without my iPod.
Ever look in the couch cushions to find cigarette money?
Ever covet your weekends?
Ever get addicted to a website?
Ever go to the refrigerator when you are sad, or go shopping?










Sing.
Migrate.


™Zombiehaven 2008. All ideas and photos are copyrighted under Zombiehaven. Anything used from this site, must have written permission.

My Mistake

I removed the banned phrases from my page. I don't like this censorship, sorry about that.


I got political for a spell, but have since seen it leads us no where.

I got pissed about the killing of babies, and the desire for others to give the benefit of the doubt to a person doing the killing, but since have learned anger will do nothing.

I forgot about the humanity of the people deceived enough to behave in this way, since I have repented of this.

I will now commence being a "People Pleaser/Yes Man."

That is all.

Zombie out.







Sing.
Migrate.


™Zombiehaven 2008. All ideas and photos are copyrighted under Zombiehaven. Anything used from this site, must have written permission.

Soccer! Or Not.

Aevry wasn't so much into her first soccer practice. Don't you wish sometimes that you could just take your ball and leave?










Sing.
Migrate.


™Zombiehaven 2008. All ideas and photos are copyrighted under Zombiehaven. Anything used from this site, must have written permission.

God IS Needed

Last Friday, I was sitting in school learning about the urinary system, not too interesting stuff. I got sick of sitting their. For some reason the teacher decided to change things up. We are supposed to have lecture form 9 AM to 10:20, then a lab from 10:25 to 12:20, then a lunch until 1 PM, then another lecture from 1 to 2:20 PM. Then home. The professor is a creature of routine. We never get out early, we never start late. Friday, he combined the two lectures, skipped the lunch and made the lab optional, which I opted out of. The only one to opt out of. I walk out of the building and through the science building, then through the Fine Arts building and out the door to my car that was parked just outside the doors. I got in and drove away to the exit. Just as I did, there was a deranged gunman bursting through the very same doors I just left and opening the doors of a classroom that was holding a young woman rehearsing a part for her play. He pulled out a shotgun and shot her, killing her instantly. He sat in that room for several minutes until he could hear the sirens. When he was surrounded, he pulled the trigger on himself, dying instantly. No one saw anything, just the shots were heard. The school went on lock down for a few hours, then the students were released. The man was a classmate of the woman's, but not really a friends, he was a stalker.
It has been nagging at me since it happened how things played out. Why do these gunmen choose public places to kill a person or themselves? Why did he like the girl so much he had to kill her too?
Such terrible violence. That morning the girl went to school expecting an average day, and she never came home. That night 2 sets of parents wept all night long.
When will the world realize how badly we need God?









Sing.
Migrate.


™Zombiehaven 2008. All ideas and photos are copyrighted under Zombiehaven. Anything used from this site, must have written permission.

Hello world.

Church Silliness

My mom was telling me on Easter of a few reasons she left her church recently.
1. They started using worship towels, now I am not too offended afterall, I did invent the worship wave, but they would pass out these towels for the worshipers to wave when the Spirit compelled them, like when your favorite team scores.
2. They spent 40,000 dollars on a sign you can't read.
3. You have to tithe at their church with evidence in your taxes to receive any financial help, even the homeless.
4. They named the worship towel, "Spirit Rally Rags."

Churches do some pretty strange things. What would Jesus say? Would He grab a rally rag and wave it in worship? Maybe. Would He plaster His image on that digital sign? Um. Would He need to see your taxes to give to you? He never did. So why then?

Some Christians need an attitude adjustment. What is God about anyway?

Jesus didn't vote
Jesus left money issues alone
Jesus didn't need a rally rag to praise God

So why do we?

Sing.
Migrate.

Recovery

"Free grace can go into the gutter, and bring up a jewel!" Charles Spurgeon


It really is amazing the places you can learn about the grace of God. As a Christian culture, we condemn the drunken and addicted, yet in the sweaty stink of a church basement, God resides with the recovering. Recovering because of the grace of God. We scream justice for those rebellious and in prison, yet in a little cell, there is a chaplain and a handful of people who have missed the mark and now enjoy God's grace, in recovery. Recovering because of God's grace.

What a thought that the God that split the earth, that brought the rains to flood everything, separating the continents, cleansing it of it's sin, would reside in such an empty an filthy vessel as my heart. A man in recovery. Recovering because of God's grace.

Sin is this cancer that invades our lives, attacking one area of us, then spreading to the rest filling us with the pain of illness, of sin, and of death. We cannot stop it any more than you can keep the disease away. We are rendered helpless against our dying bodies, but then something happens. God who seems distant most of the time changes everything. He lifts us up, helpless and hopeless and cleanses us of our illness, repairs us, restores us. So we live. Not only live, but thrive, basking in the blessing and goodness of God Himself as He looks on us with joy. I have never pictured God looking at me with joy. Most of my visions of God revolve around how dumb I must look to Him, yet God promises to have no memory of my folly. So I get to live, when justice to us, would mean for me to die for the things I have done. But here I stand forgiven. Because of God's grace.






Sing.
Migrate.


™Zombiehaven 2008. All ideas and photos are copyrighted under Zombiehaven. Anything used from this site, must have written permission.

Busy Day

The Tigers are on.
The Wings are on.
MSU plays for the National Championship.
I have a small group tonight.


I am most excited for the small group. We are watching, "Expelled: No Intelligence Allowed." It is a documentary by Ben Stein, an Jew who apparently makes a fool out of evolution and stumps it's greatest spokesmen. Can't wait.

Worked out twice today, did the back at the gym, and then the abs and cardio at home with the P90X Videos. Went back later to take Caeden to basketball and decided to run a mile, and cycle for an hour. It was a good day. I am working on a new diet where you shop only the perimeter of the grocery store, which holds all of the 5 food groups. So you are basically eating fruits, veggies, meat, bread, and dairies. Giving me stomach issues, but it should regulate itself soon.


Predictions for tonight:
MSU cuts down the net in Detroit.
The Wings cut down the Sabers.
The Tiger aren't looking good, 4-0 after only 1 inning, but they WILL cut down the Blue Jays.
Ben Stein will cut down evolution, then we will try to convince him about Jesus being the Messiah.






Sing.
Migrate.


™Zombiehaven 2008. All ideas and photos are copyrighted under Zombiehaven. Anything used from this site, must have written permission.

War

What do you believe about war? There are so many views that it is hard to keep track of. What is yours and how has your faith shaped what you believe?

Transformation

In my small group last Monday, the question was asked, "How has the love of God transformed you?" I could not give an adequate answer, except to say, He changed everything. Everything I had ever known or believed was changed in an instant, with one moment in a bath tub. One moment of mercy and grace. One moment where my Creator, our Creator spoke to me in a way I could not deny. I was previously able to write off a miracle saving from a train as a freak coincidence, so God wrecked my heart so I could no longer write Him off. He snapped it like a twig under foot. I could no longer deny that He loved me, so I wept. I think He may have wept too. So it is really hard for me to answer that question because it's answer brings with it so much heart break, so much joy and sorrow, so much of what makes me, me. Me with the grace of God hovering over my every step. I forget so many times what God has done for me, how He has transformed everything. But I can tell tell, you as always that no matter how much I do not know about Him, I do know that He is good. He is making everything new again.

How has the love of God, transformed you?








Sing.
Migrate.


™Zombiehaven 2008. All ideas and photos are copyrighted under Zombiehaven. Anything used from this site, must have written permission.

The Future

I love technology
Not as much as you, you see
But still, I love technology


Technology has come a very long way in the last 10 to 15 years. It is weird, they were still trying to perfect the wheel from the beginning to the late 1800's, then all of the sudden, internet, space travel, smart phones, satellites, and wireless internet. This last one amazes me because if you think about it, there are millions of pages of information floating right in front of your face at all times in a WIFI zone. Just floating there waiting for you to access them. Fax machines also amaze me. A picture travels across wires all the way across the country in seconds recreates itself, then makes an identical copy for the recipient.

When Laura and I first got an apartment after we got married, well kinda after, Burkalator was her roommate until we were able to engage in the roughhousing without sin. But I used to have a little office inside of Laura's walk in closet in her bedroom. It was here I would work all day long, in a closet. No internet, until we discovered Netzero, when it was still free, but that took a million minutes to load pages and dialed 15 phone numbers to connect. I had a hundred reference books because information had to be accessed the hard way, by actually reading in context about a subject, instead of the easy way of cherry picking the internet for it.

Now it is different. I can write, or surf the web from anywhere with my phone, my laptop, or telepathy. What will the next 10 to 15 years bring us?



Please give me your predictions.









Sing.
Migrate.


™Zombiehaven 2008. All ideas and photos are copyrighted under Zombiehaven. Anything used from this site, must have written permission.

My Weekend With Students Without Modest Bathing Suits

Got back last night from the water park trip with the students. The kids had a good time, but it was and always is stressful to deal with teenagers. It started kinda scary, such is the case with all of my youth group trips, we never start very well. We got to the hotel and they had botched the reservation, only being able to accommodate 12 of the 16 people we brought, and they said they were at capacity and no refunds would be given (We had paid in full in advance). So I asked to see a manager and to my joy, she was much more caring and gifted us a room just 2 doors down from our original rooms at no extra cost. Awesome, God is awesome!

Asked a couple of students to watch our kids for 2 seconds to get something and Laura came back 2 minutes later and they were making out and our kids were left alone. Awesome!

I love teenagers though. They make you feel both young and old at times, but are super fun to work with even if they will send me to my grave early. It is a thankless job at times as teens don't think about how much work you put into just getting them to youth group when none of them drive, but it is rewarding when you see one of your students reading their Bible on the way home. I love it. God is Awesome!

Anyway, I am tired, I worked 70 hours last week and don't have much time to play with this week either, but I figure one day, in Heaven it will all pay off.






I hope.




Sing.
Migrate.


™Zombiehaven 2008. All ideas and photos are copyrighted under Zombiehaven. Anything used from this site, must have written permission.

Modest Bathing Suits

Me: "Here is what you need for the water park trip on Saturday......A modest bathing suit...a towel....toothbrush...."

12 year old female student: "What is a modest bathing suit?"

Me: "One in which unnecessary flesh is not showing simply for cosmetic purposes."

12 year old female student: "Well, looks like I am going bathing suit shopping."




I am growing more and more afraid for when my daughters are teenagers. I have one who is 12 and the other is almost 3. What is this world going to be like when they are older. My oldest is almost there right now. She is a good girl and hope to not see any problems from her. But my youngest is a bit rebellious and I foresee more rebellion in the future. How exactly does one father a daughter in this society at all and keep his sanity?


Perhaps if they didn't sit so close to the TV.















Sing.
Migrate.


™Zombiehaven 2008. All ideas and photos are copyrighted under Zombiehaven. Anything used from this site, must have written permission.

Renaissance

This is my renaissance, this is my one response, this is the way I say, I love you...Matt Kearney

Missed the last train home. Birds pass by to tell me that I'm not alone...Rogue Wave

My sentiments exactly. I like it when a song can word something you feel or are going through in just the right way that you could have written it if you only had the literary prowess to do so eloquently. This is what I have been pushed into lately, a kind of renaissance in which my thinking and lifestyle has been challenged and proven to have gaping holes in it. But the cool thing about holes, is that through the holes, the light is exposed. We may have been beaten and dragged down, we may have seemingly missed the last train home, but those holes that are exposed allow us to see the mercy, love, and compassion of Jesus transforming our minds. We are not alone in our helplessness, or in our ability to mess things up. Our God is right here, sending the birds to remind us we are not alone in this.

Consider the illustrations of birds used in the Bible, some examples?

Matt. 13:32 Though it is the smallest of all your seeds, yet when it grows, it is the largest of garden plants and becomes a tree, so that the birds of the air come and perch in its branches.”

Luke 12:24 Consider the ravens: They do not sow or reap, they have no storeroom or barn; yet God feeds them. And how much more valuable you are than birds!

Gen. 8:11 When the dove returned to him in the evening, there in its beak was a freshly plucked olive leaf! Then Noah knew that the water had receded from the earth. 12 He waited seven more days and sent the dove out again, but this time it did not return to him.


Birds as an example of the thriving believer, living in the fullness of Christ, giving rest to others.

Birds as a reason to be assured that Jesus is taking care of you.

Birds as a means to an end of suffering.

Our God is good.






Sing.
Migrate.


™Zombiehaven 2008. All ideas and photos are copyrighted under Zombiehaven. Anything used from this site, must have written permission.

The Movie

On Wednesday, I went over E's, the director and editor to find out that the movie I had written and co-directed that I thought was dead in the water, is much further than I thought it was and should be finished this summer. We have some serious issues to work out, as a vital cast member passed away during the filming before her scenes were done, but we came up with some great ideas, and it should be better than the original plan. I have lots of rewrites to do, but I am excited that 4 years of my life are not wasted. I get so tired of hearing people ask, "When's the movie going to be done," and have no answer for them. At least now I have an idea, and hope for it's completion.
It took me 2 years to write the semi-autobiographical pathetic script which can be found on my other blog.
Took us 2 years for preliminary filming and casting.
Spent about 20 thousand for filming.
There is light at the end of the tunnel.

Sing.
Migrate.

I Am Asking Obama For A Bail-Out

Feeling a bit better after a few days of hellish sickness. I had a birthday, I got some cool things from my wife and mothers. Laura got me a Samsung Instinct smartphone which has really helped me stay organized and respond faster to emails. Also allows me to post from the road which is the fun part. My mothers both gave me money, which was used to by some noise canceling headphones because my earbuds are broken and have become an electrocution hazard. Anyone ever use noise canceling headphones? It may wreck your ears, not sure yet, but they make the whole world go by by which is nice when you have had enough of listening to Spongebob reruns, and screaming, and fighting for a few minutes to relax and recoup.
Over the last week, Laura and I have started watching Lost beginning with season 1. In the past I have been critical of this show because of some shenanigans I saw while checking out a random episode in season 3. But after watching the beginning, I get it. I now understand why people are crazy for this show, because it is really good. Laura and I are just waiting for one day that the kids are at the grandmas or something and we can take a whole day and watch all day long.
This morning I woke up in prayer, and I felt good after a month of darkness, all of the sudden the sun came up. So praise God for that. He is working in my life, showing me faith, showing me peace and joy.
Well enough random housekeeping, just wanted to pop in for some updates.








Sing.
Migrate.


™Zombiehaven 2008. All ideas and photos are copyrighted under Zombiehaven. Anything used from this site, must have written permission.

The Rest Is The Mess We Leave As We Pass Through

An addict works everyday in a soup kitchen by himself for two meals a day to keep busy to keep himself from thinking too much and inciting temptation to use. He shows up everyday, even when ill and begins making the food. He does things in a certain regimented order that he will not and can not deviate from. He does this joyfully 2 hours before each meal. People begin arriving and sitting down, cold from the Michigan weather and broken from the waves this world likes to throw at them. They form a line and come up and get their meals which all look different because there is not enough of one thing to feed everyone, eat, then leave and he goes about his business cleaning up the mess they left as they passed through. He closes up shop at the end of the day and goes straight to the movies to escape. Before, he used drugs to escape, not the theater, because we all need an escape route. His eyes dilate with wonder as he fully opens himself up to the parallel world flashing on a silver screen, for those 2 hours he puts himself someplace else, someone else, then back to NA meetings and meals for others. If you try to talk to him, he will tell you about every movie he has seen and everyone that is coming out.
His life is so simple. No gadgets, no added complications because he is just trying to focus on one thing...getting well, getting clean and staying clean. Every move he makes is calculated, from screwing on a coffee can lid to punching in numbers on a microwave, he is focused on every task. He stays busy. The first time we volunteered here, I was a bit off put because he did not want any help, he would do the things we were supposed to do and tell us to go talk to people. I left wondering why he didn't want out help, then it occurred to me that this is helping to keep him clean and sober. He needs this as much as he needs food himself. This is a God send to him, his true escape route.
I envy him.







Sing.
Migrate.


™Zombiehaven 2008. All ideas and photos are copyrighted under Zombiehaven. Anything used from this site, must have written permission.