Sleeping In Gardens

It would be nice if I had the money to travel. I would love to go and meet every person I speak to on the internet. I feel like I am missing out of some pretty great lives corresponding over the internet. I am missing family dinners and beaches with seagulls. I am missing the thing that makes relationships with others amazing, proximity. Humanity. You don't get these things from the keyboard or monitor. You get them from eye contact and physical touch and closeness. When we become messages sent in a really fast bottle, we can lose our humanity. You love, but not clearly, we feel but not intensely, and we get angry and sometimes forget that the recipient is a human being who still feels whether or not we speak in person over the web. We text too much, we chat too much, we email too much, and embrace rarely, if ever. I wish I was rich so I could meet all of you. Sit down and watch a movie with my Australian friend, eat dinner with a family of many children rescued by brave and loving parents, Have a coffee with a heart broken friend, feel sand under my feet. I wish I could do these things, but I can't. So I pray for you instead, and smile at the fact that someday we will meet where the sun never falls and there are no more tears or crying. That day will be a good day because as far away as we are to those we care for, we are family. May God open your eyes each day, flooded with joy, and may they close in peace. There is too much hurt in the world. We need love of a different kind. The kind that sees each other clearly, not just through a screen. Truth is I don't much care for myself most of the time, that's why I write. I need to get things out of me. I am angry at the entire world, and love to release it. I am guilty of so much, and I need to relieve the pressure. I don't know what a good father and husband looks like, so I read about the lives of really, really good fathers and husbands. I am broken, especially now, and weak. I get strength through others who suffer too. I think that is what God had in mind when he made us. He chose his disciples and of those, there were three who were very close. He brought them in his anguish to just be physically near him as he bled tears in the garden. They fell asleep. I fall asleep sometimes on my friends too, and I am sorry for every time I closed my eyes to you. Jesus didn't need them there, their presence made him feel better, their physical proximity gave Him comfort. This is the life God had in mind for those who know Him.