I was laying on top of a dryer, basking like an Iguana in the heat of it's surface. I was 10 or 11 and I was crying. I remember singing Yesterday from the Beatles to myself and wondering how I was going to make it out alive, or if I could at all.
Life for a pre-tweener can be a lonely place and a dreadful existence. It was for me, but then again, it was also miserable for my tweener, teen, and young adult years, so maybe I have been conditioned.
I was always looking for heat sources. I would sleep on the heater beneath the table, or the dryer. This is still the case today. I do have no idea why I do this. It might be some complex comforting mechanism or something, or maybe I just like heat. I used to get made fun of because when I worked at a factory, I would spend my breaks in the winter outside standing by the huge vent that exhausted the machine heat into the cold sky.
I prayed on that dryer for mercy. God answered and I knew I wasn't alone for a moment. This was a different dryer 10 years later. I was remembering the time I had spent as a kid laying on those heat sources and God allowed me to see that He was there with me. That I was always going to be ok and that I was safe in His arms my entire life. I think He has been trying to tell me that lately too.
God is good. We really suffer some hard times in this life. Some of us seem to go through hell and back again.
Phil. 1:12 Now I want you to know, brothers, that what has happened to me has really served to advance the gospel. 13 As a result, it has become clear throughout the whole palace guard and to everyone else that I am in chains for Christ.
Our suffering is not forever and God is our protector. I am covered in scars, but filled with God's love and grace. I am drenched in blood and torn to pieces, but I have been touched with the finger of God. I have been sifted and strained then poured out in front of everyone, but God uses what remains to His glory always.
I am blessed in the midst of tragedy and triumph and I will remain.
Sing.
Migrate.
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Monday, March 1, 2010
What Remains
I'm a simple person to figure out. I usually write it all down here. I try not to pretend to be anything. I am what I am and that's good enough until it's not anymore. I want my kids to remember me smiling when I'm gone. Integrity is the very basis of a good life. I love my God, my wife, my kids, my friends, and I try to love all of the rest of you.
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I need to get some more Bon Iver...he's playing right now.
ReplyDeleteI don't understand why some people have it so hard, except maybe that they will be stronger in the Lord when it all comes to pass.
2CO 4:7 But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us. 8 We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; 9 persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed. 10 We always carry around in our body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be revealed in our body. 11 For we who are alive are always being given over to death for Jesus' sake, so that his life may be revealed in our mortal body.
ReplyDeleteThank you ... needed that
ReplyDeleteHello. And Bye.
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